A Twisted Sort-Of Family
by The.Generic.Writer
Summary: Perona can't tell if they posses some form of unholy black magic, or if she's really just as insane as Zoro says she is. But by some diluted miracle their little pseudo-family had worked; both eventually and defectively, that is. (During Timeskip. Zoro/Perona/Mihawk family love and fluff)
1. Chapter 1: Take-off Troubles

**Hey all! I'm .Writer, but just call me D! This is my first story in the One Piece Fandom, and on this new account. My old one was deleted for personal reasons, but I'm not gonna get into that. **

**Now this is a Perona-centric story! She NEEDS more love. There's like two pages of fics for her, and I find her one of the most interesting characters to come out of the wonderful world of boundless imagination that is Oda's mind! It starts an hour or two after Perona returns to bring Zoro back to the castle. How did her real body get there? Use your imagination. **

**This is going to be more of a one-shot series as opposed to an actually chapter story, because I have not the time nor the inspiration to write one like that. **

**Enjoy the story! **

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Chapter 1: The Walk

A snarl rips its way out of her dry throat. The burden on her back trashes; he flaps and flails his limbs against his make-shift gurney. Perona bites her bottom lip bloody resisting the raging impulse telling her to throw the damn ingrate to the ground and _**Ghost Lap**_ him to oblivion. Her platform heels stomp into the ground with sharp thuds, crushing the unfortunate rocks and foliage that happened to be under the pink-haired girl's feet. Why couldn't her devil fruit allow her to levitate solid objects? The stupid swordsman better be grovelling at her feet after all this effort she's putting in to help his sorry self!

The eerie atmosphere and ominous black violet sky- that normally did wonders for her mood - helped not in the slightest as the irate Ghost Princess made the trek back to the castle with her newly found charge. A dismantled wooden patio chair - upon which said charge is seated and still trashing about – grates painfully into her back with every laboured step, along with the cords of rope that fastened it to her slender form.

_Stupid, moronic, idiot swordsman..._ Perona thinks with ire. _What the hell am I doing, helping this annoying moss head?_

Without warning, a shrill rumbling howl rings across the forest, piercing the entire island's desolate silence. "Kyaahhh!" She lets out a strangled yelp; chills crackling down her spine like pinpricks. That instant the Horo Horo no Mi user summons up a small army of negative hollows- upon instinct, of course! Perona was most definitely _not afraid_ of the unseen monster lurking in the woods. The howling continues twice as loud, and the Ghost Princess leaps into the air with a high pitched squeal- on instinct,_ not fear, instinct_! It soon stops and the forest drifts back into its usual noiselessness.

Perona senses something brewing in the dark of the forest; if its some innate power or simple paranoia, one could not be sure. A foreboding breeze blows past, starkly silent like the rest of the island. Sweat runs down the girl's back in rivets. She is frozen in place with frightful anticipation. Her whole body shudders as she waits for some grotesque beast to leap from within the shadowy trees and strike. However, an awkward passes and nothing happens still. Ever so slowly, the ghost girl edges her contained breathing back into its normal pattern, only to realize she's more than a metre above ground.

"Huh? The hell?" She blinks and carefully clenches a fist together, digging her nails into taut skin. Yup, she was solid alright. The Lolita bends her knees and hops up, trying to feel the burden of the Straw Hat swordsman on her back. To her surprise the load of moss head she was struggling with only minutes before, now felt like nothing more than a sofa cushion. Then she sways her body, finding her entire form feather light. She is now a true ghost. Weightless. Free. And for an incredibly short while her new found skill has her childishly giddy, but no sooner than a second later her and Zoro's heaviness returns full force.

An unfamiliar vertigo fogs up her head. The sharp return of weight tips her backwards and sends the two unconventional pirates crashing into the cold, wet dirt.  
The Pirate Hunter slams into the ground at angle; the side of his face buries into the forest floor an inch deep. The chairs wooden arms dig into his back, along with Perona's flesh ones. But despite the ten foot fall and his dirt filled nostrils, Roronoa Zoro remains blissfully asleep.

"Shaddup you people, I'm tryin' to sleep 'ere... Huh, wha'd you say? You wanna go, you perverted water imp?" He mumbles in his daze, snorting out damp soil with every word. Perona the other hand fumbles upwards fruitlessly. Like an upturned sea turtle almost; a pink bodied, green shelled sea turtle with curly pigtails. "Ughh... Shit..." The pink head groans drowsily. Dizziness has yet to leave; a heavy feeling sets in her bones, not unlike the feeling of being submerged in ocean water. Tiredness threatens to pull the ghost girl in, but resolve commands her eyes to snap open and stay open.

She was the Ghost Princess damn it! A feared figure on the haunting sea of the Florian Triangle that brought the men to their knees with the wave of a hand! Whatever the hell this thing happening to her was, Perona would not be defeated by it- nor the poundage of the stupid Marimo on her back! She refused to lose to either of them! And suddenly the feeling of lightness returns and she's weightless again.

"Yeah! I fucking did it!" She whoops happily. Who knew that whole clichéd awakening through resolve thing actually worked? With a triumphant smile, she brings herself and her charge up a few inches above the soil. Perona claps her palms together, revelling in the fact that her body- her real, physical body- was _flying_. She wills her body forward, pumping her muscles in a jumping motion to help her rise further. It takes seven awkward stumbles to the ground and fifteen minutes of making weird superman-ish poses in mid air, but Perona finally manages some movement. Her arms are splayed out like a superhero about to fly off into the distance and her legs shake furiously- as if she's learning to walk all over again. Pure adrenaline thunders through her body. It's like a drug- euphoric, and Perona finds herself gradually becoming addicted to the sensation.

The giddy, fluttery feeling returns as she levitates above the at least a two hundred feet above the treetops. Zoro chooses this moment to twist harshly right and throw her off balance.

"Watch out for the beam!" Her control falters as he screams frantically in her ear. They fall; spinning to the ground like a misshapen missile. Perona focuses entirely on staying in the air; she holds her palms out, eyes wide, mouth open in a silent screech whilst frantically trying to stop their descent. The world is dead to her. Staying up in the air and _not _crashing into the ground is all that matters now.

And it works. They return to their ghost like state, fall coming to a halt a mere foot above the hard, damp soil. The ghost girl pants hard, gulping in air like there's no tomorrow. Blood drums in her ears as she battles with the tremble in her hands. Once it is settled and her heart rate lowers, she tilts her head to glare at the sleeping moss head. "Fucking dumbass! Gah! Are you trying to kill us both damn you?!" She shrieks. Zoro snores in response. "How the hell are you still asleep?!" He snores again, making the Gothic girl sigh in disdain.

"I feel so bad for you... It must be a sad life, being such a hopeless idio-" The unaware swordsman's hands drop from the chair and grope Perona's breasts. The ghost girl loses her concentration and splats onto the ground in a slew of truly pirate worthy profanity. Her face burns red and she releases a yell of fury. The Pirate Hunter would wake up days later dozens of hand shaped bruises that he didn't remember receiving.

(It didn't really matter though; he'd chalk it up to being wasted at the time, as usual. The crew never spoke about his drunken escapades, and when he asked they would all go ramrod straight and make up a half-assed alibi - or in Luffy's case walk away screaming "SAANJIII MEEAAATTTT!" - about something they didn't really have to do.)

The pair was still 10 kilometres away from their destination. Needless to say, the rest of the trek was a hell of a lot worse. And Zoro stayed asleep through all of it.

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**Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2: Caught In The Act

**Greetings again, reader people! Hope you enjoy this one-shot-ish chapter! Thanks to everyone that reviewed and followed and all that!**

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Chapter 2:

They had just gotten back to the castle when the sun cracked through the smoggy sky of the gloomy island. Truly, it was a real miracle that the quirky pair of pirates had even managed to keep their spines intact during the process. Thankfully for both parties, there had much less flailing - and no more groping - from the Pirate Hunter, which left his companion able to better focus on getting them to safety.

The conscious member of the party would have been jumping for joy right now, if only she had any sort of energy left to spare. After pushing her new found power to the limit and all but slithering up the stairways to the infirmary (which she found during one of her explorations), the pink-haired Ghost Princess was completely exhausted. Being the user of a devil fruit that enabled you to exit you own body and levitate freely, travelling long distances on foot was not her cup of tea. Flying a half marathon whilst carrying a man who was twice her weight, while dodging trees and crumbling ruins was at least a thousand times worse. She was so drained that even her deep breathing was getting tiring, and the energy consumption of using her Devil Fruit Powers like she did was starting to hit her full force.

But she couldn't rest just yet. Of course not. It seemed that fate decided it wouldn't be giving her a break. The moss head's wounds needed to be treated immediately- not that she actually cared! She simply couldn't let him die after dragging his ass all the way back here, or so her questionable reasoning was.

Now the Ghost Princess is no stranger to injuries. She is able to tell apart a fresh wound from an old one, and a sprain from a fracture. She has a grasp on how they should be treated and dressed. After all, the girl had spent much too long with Hogback to be uneducated in such basics. Perona observed closely when he brought the Mysterious Four in for his long winded demonstrations, even if the girl appeared to be solely occupied with herself at the time. The girl is actually rather good with such things- much more so than most, despite her tendency to go crazy with bandages and be extremely rough. But hey, it wasn't fault that all she had to practice on was a horde of zombies. However, his wounds aren't within her calibre. They are the kind of wound that made experienced doctors gape, and go "How the hell is his heart still beating?"

She's truly thankful that the brunt of them have been treated expertly, or Roronoa would be dead by sundown. The newer wounds needed to be treated soon, lest the dirt and decay of the forest infect them all. And with an amazing amount of willpower Perona moves her aching, painfully protesting limbs, and prepares to treat his wounds. "Not that I would mind if he died! It's just that it would have been a waste of my effort if he did!" She thinks to herself; an angry ready blush forming across her cheeks. It was up to her to do this, exhausted and lacking proper knowledge or not.

The girl was determined to say the least, but fatigue was getting the best of her, and so far, simply hauling out the necessary supplies was making her knees shake. She needed to get this done before she passed out and the decay from the rotting ruins gave him some weird flesh eating disease. Heaving and cursing, Perona drags the gaudy, oversized kit of medical supplies out of the storage closet and to the foot of Zoro's cot. She struggles with the clunky metal zipper for a number of minutes, pulling it back and forth, swearing louder as it gets tangled with the draping bed sheets.

Panting, the pink-ette throws her all her body weight to the right, successfully opening the stubborn zipper. The sudden loss of resistance makes her stumble back and fall into a dizzy pile on the cold marble floor. With some difficulties the girl draws herself up to a sitting position, and takes a moment to send her best glare of absolute death towards the zipper. "Stupid thing," She huffs in annoyance. "Acting all innocent... Don't be smug, I got ya' open you uncute little bastard..."

Standing now -with more difficulty and the help of a nearby table- Perona strips Rorona Zoro completely. As his tan flesh is exposed she can't help the flush on her face. Sure, she'd seen many a man in their birthday suit before- but this was different. This was not one of Hogback's surgical performances, nor was it in anyway a mutual consent kind of thing. He was asleep and vulnerable, and she was striping him naked. It didn't matter that she was treating his wounds, it was still extremely creepy.

Perona -for lack of a kinder word- felt like a rapist.

So lost was she in her embarrassment that she didn't notice Zoro's eyes flash open. They travel down his body quickly, disturbed by the strange breeziness of his lower area. "Wha... what the..." He slurs, clearly aware of his lack of clothing. Perona squeals in surprise, snapping a hand over her mouth as not to make him more alert. Her luck was really a bitch. The moss head stares directly into her widened eyes; questioning gaze not wavering in the slightest. She grapples with herself, trying to find a solution. Her blush intensifies at least 7 shades. What the hell was a person supposed to do in this kind of situation?

For all of 30 seconds Perona and Zoro have the most awkward staring contest of her life. He was glaring at her, and she could do nothing but shift her panicky eyes and try to cover up her surprised blush. During this half a minute the flustered girl thought up many elaborate plans to make him return to his slumber and forget he even woke up. These included hypnotizing him, bombarding him with a hundred of her hollows, and giving him a sleeping pill then going off to create a tonic that erased all of one's memories within the last 10 hours. In the end she went with slugging him in the head.

The Marino is knocked right out, and his head lolls onto the cream colored beddings with a soft rustle. Relieved, Perona steadies her shaky body with a deep breath. _Now for the real work. _She carefully asses his injuries; lifting arms and legs with feeble, jittery hands and examines his wounds.

Then the girl feels his right leg twitch. She punches him hard in the cranium for good measure. And with nervous hands and a full out crimson blush, she starts to treat his wounds.

Treatment is finished two hours later, and Perona collapses onto the nearby chair with a tired but accomplished sigh. In her mind, her work was perfect. And what would be in Zoro's mind when he woke up were these three little words: What. The. Fuck.

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**Little note here, I _was _going to write about the whole clean and bandaging injuries and whatnot, but I have medical knowledge what so ever, so the ending fell pretty flat. I apologize for that. Have a good one! **


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